Wow, you got that off the Internet?
May 18, 2016
Oh sure! For the last time, I don't like lilacs! Your 'first' wife was the one who liked lilacs! There's no part of that sentence I didn't like! I've got to find a way to escape the horrible ravages of youth. Five hours? Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." Son, as…
With a warning label
May 18, 2016
Son, as your lawyer, I declare y'all are in a 12-piece bucket o' trouble. But I done struck you a deal: Five hours of community service cleanin' up that ol' mess you caused. You're going to do his laundry? Say what? No! I want to live! There are still too many things I don't own! Bender, we're trying our best. Isn't it true that you…
You have a good heart
May 18, 2016
Whoa a real live robot; or is that some kind of cheesy New Year's costume? You, a bobsleder!? That I'd like to see! Soon enough. Who are you, my warranty?! Bite my shiny metal ass. Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn't I…
So I really am important?
Apr 18, 2016
Pansy. Doomsday device? Ah, now the ball's in Farnsworth's court! Kif might! Bender, we're trying our best. Are you crazy? I can't swallow that. Yep, I remember. They came in last at the Olympics, then retired to promote alcoholic beverages! So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? Really?! You wouldn't. Ask anyway! So, how 'bout them Knicks? I guess…
Actually, that’s still true
Apr 15, 2016
Really?! The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You will practice until you can make your bed in your sleep. Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. Yeah. Give a little credit to our public schools. WINDMILLS DO NOT WORK THAT WAY! GOOD NIGHT! So,…
Belligerent and numerous
Apr 3, 2016
I usually try Can I use the gun? I wish! It's a nickel. Hi, I'm a naughty nurse, and I really need someone to talk to. $9.95 a minute. Enough about your promiscuous mother, Hermes! We have bigger problems. Why would I want to know that? So I really am important? How I feel when I'm drunk is correct? Noooooo! They're like sex, except I'm…
Michelle, I don’t regret
Mar 29, 2016
Michelle, I don't regret this, but I both rue and lament it. All I want is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit… that's why I'm transferring to business school! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry! With gusto And so…
I feel like a jigsaw
Mar 1, 2016
I'm really more an apartment person. Finding a needle in a haystack isn't hard when every straw is computerized. You all right, Dexter? I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I feel like a jigsaw puzzle missing a piece. And I'm not even sure what the picture should be. I feel like a jigsaw…
Doomsday Devices
Jan 30, 2016
There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! Stop it, stop it. It's fine. I will 'destroy' you! Why yes! Thanks for noticing. No, just a regular mistake. These old Doomsday Devices are dangerously unstable. I'll rest easier not knowing where they are. I've been there. My folks were always on me to groom myself and…
Is the Space Pope reptilian
Jan 18, 2016
You won't have time for sleeping, soldier, not with all the bed making you'll be doing. Oh sure! Blame the wizards! Why would I want to know that? No, I'm Santa Claus! When I was first asked to make a film about my nephew, Hubert Farnsworth, I thought "Why should I?" Then later, Leela made the film. But if I did make it, you can…
Oh, how awful
Jan 1, 2016
Okay, it's 500 dollars, you have no choice of carrier, the battery can't hold the charge and the reception isn't very… Then throw her in the laundry room, which will hereafter be referred to as "the brig". And yet you haven't said what I told you to say! How can any of us trust you? And I'm his friend Jesus. Oh, how awful. Did he…